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20120901
20120930
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COM 33
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English 33
Search Results 0 to 32 of about 33 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Sep 18, 2012 11:30pm PDT
week by his handling of the libya crisis. but yesterday the romney people shifted gears to change the game. >> there is a push by the romney campaign to refocus, to somehow reset. they want to really change the focus. >> stephen: well, i'm happy to say that by last night no one was focused on libya anymore. (applause) >> mitt romney is in damage control after a magazine revealed a secret video showing him making some controversial comments about americans. >> it's now raising tough new questions for his presidential campaign. >> this tape has shaken the romney campaign to say the least. >> stephen: shaken to say the least. vomiting blood to say the most. (laughter) but still no libya. (applause) okay, that's a victory. now, folks, here's what happened. way back in may mitt spoke at a $50,000 a plate fund-raiser at the boca raton home of private equity management marc leder who is best known for throwing some wild parties including one in the hamptons last summer where guests cavorted nude in a pool and performed sex acts while scantily clad russian women danced on platforms. i bel
Comedy Central
Sep 25, 2012 11:00pm PDT
. with libya in turmoil, syria in flames, iran on the verge of a nuclear weapon, an incredible opportunity for our president not just to address the world community but for some high-level pres-on-pres action. >> the white house says he has no plans to have any private leadings with world leaders. >> jon: oh. (laughter) well, that's-- probably protocol. it's not the time for one-on-one meetings with other world leaders! >> our research shows it's been 20 years since a president has been to that meeting and not met one on one with a foreign leader. (audience reacts). >> jon: oh. (laughter) well, i guess if the world leaders would like to meet with him personally they can just donate $5 to his campaign and take their chances like the rest of us. (laughter) seriously. i'm sure there's a good reason why president obama's not going to be face to face with world leaders in these difficult and historic times. >> the president obviously has a busy schedule. he has a busy schedule all time. >> jon: yeah, he's got a busy schedule! (laughter) he can't just be meeting every world leader willy-nilly! (
Comedy Central
Sep 26, 2012 7:30pm PDT
, libya. president obama supported-- the uprising, correct? >> president obama wants to-- once said he wants everybody in america to go to college. what a snob! >> oops. >> jon: oh, right. that concludes our segment "mitt romney is the s.e.c.-luckiest dude on the planet." welcome back! my guest tonight is the reigning king of jordan. welcome back to the program king abdullaabdull abdullah ii. (cheers and applause) thank you so much for being here again. i just wanted to let you know as an emissary of the united states our president, i know, was scheduled to meet with you today. (laughter) he was not doing a stupid t.v. show. (laughter) he was very busy with strategic-- meetings. (laughter) whoopi goldbergstan, i believe it is. >> i heard. >> jon: that the talk of-- you were at the u.n. today. does anyone-- is there any discussion amongst world leaders about the american president not being available for face-to-face meetings? is that not a-- is that upsetting? >> not that i heard, no. i think everybody's there preparing for their speeches and in side meets with other leaders. that was
Comedy Central
Sep 17, 2012 11:30pm PDT
tragically in benghazi, libya, where on september 11th four americans including our ambassador were killed. now our thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families. but my rage goes straight at barack obama. you see, his buddies in the press are trying to make this crisis about mitt romney. who on the day of the a attacks courageously vowed not to campaign on 9/11. >> there is a time and place for that. but this day is not that. >> stephen: no. that day was not that. (laughter) turns out, that night was that. jim. >> governor mitt romney just releasing this statement. it's disgraceful that the obama administration's first response was not to condemn attacks on our diplomatic missions but to sympathize with those who waged attacks. >> stephen: how dare obama sympathize with the attackers. he should have stood up against them like mitt romney did by attacking our president. (laughter) now it turns out, folks, when romney attacked him, obama hadn't said anything yet. (laughter) mitt was talking about a brief statement condemning religious bigotry put out on the web site of the c
Comedy Central
Sep 18, 2012 11:00pm PDT
bid a chair and completely botching his response to the horrible events in libya, a new announcement from the romney campaign. >> the romney camp is said to be engineering a reboot. >> call it a romney reset. >> we begin with mitt romney who's just unveiled a new campaign strategy. >> jon: did we say we were gonna introduce him at the convention? no, no. that's not-- (laughter). you always reintroduce the candidate three weeks after the convention. (laughter) sort of like saying to a girl "come on, just go on a seventh date with me." (laughter) "i'll grow on you." (laughter) so the big rollout of romney 9.0 started yesterday. how'd the reboot go. >> topping the agenda today, mitt romney in damage control mode. >> jon: on day one of the reboot? (laughter) yes, the romney campaign's reboot was spoiled by footage from last may of governor romney at a $50,000 a plate fund-raiser talking to rich people about poorer people in a manner you would imagine cartoon rich people talk about cartoon poorer people. (laughter) >> there are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter w
Comedy Central
Sep 20, 2012 11:00pm PDT
forward? what's the pitch? >> and the leader of libya is going to be there. and the american people will hear from him that he really liked the american ambassador who was killed. and that they tried to save his life. and that he wants america to stay there. >> jon: right. >> so there are a lot of interesting things. but we started doing this, they come because it's at the opening of the u.n.. a lot of them are going to be in new york. we invite them all to come. we invite many of them to participate. ellen general son turley, nobel prize winning president of liberia, a good friend of mine, she has been to a lot of our programs, a lot of these people come year in, year out. the secretary-general of the u.n. and president of the world bank dr. jim kim and the president of wal-mart are going to be there at the opening to talk about-- . >> jon: does he greet people as they walk in? >> no, he hires unemployed senior citizens like me to do that. but... . >> jon: all right, fair enough. >> but look, here's why he is coming. and i got him to change his schedule to come for this reason. wal
Comedy Central
Sep 26, 2012 11:30pm PDT
. you look across tunisia, libya, egypt and iraq and iran and syria, lebanon, you look and you go, oh, my gosh, this is the makings, this is the beginnings of massive beginnings of a new ottoman empire that president obama can take great credit for. >> stephen: you heard him right. the ottoman empire. it ruled the middle east for over 600 years until it finally collapsed in 1922. or did it? (cheers and applause) (laughter) it did. (laughter) but according to gohmert the ottoman empire is making a comeback with the help of barack obama. and we don't stand a chance, folks! the ottomans were known for their formidable weaponry. razor-sharp scimatars that could lop off your head and comfy padded foot stools that could trip up dick van dyke. (laughter) so get ready to go back to the days of suleiman the magive in sent and mepl mehmed the meh. our young men will be conscripted into the janissarys to guard the circumcision pa civil von at topkapi pal lals. mark my words. also, look them up on wikipedia. (laughter) congressman gohmert know it is economic impact this whole on our vital spice r
Search Results 0 to 32 of about 33 (some duplicates have been removed)